It doesn't take a genius ...

Sometimes we pose as customers and sometimes we actually are customers. For Rich, this was one of those “I really am a customer” times.

Apple stores are cool; and so are their products. We can spend a lot of time in them, when we have a lot of time. This was not the case on this particular trip. Rich was in the market for a glare shield for his iPhone, but he didn’t have much time to spare.

So he stopped in the new Apple store near his home. He was met by a young lady, the store’s official Greeter, who asked if she could help. Rich said, "Yes, I need a glare shield for my iPhone."

The Greeter processed his request and immediately began speaking into her high tech device: "Evelyn? Can you hear me?" Evelyn responded with a yes. Rich knew this because he could clearly hear her – she was standing less than six feet from him. The two Apple associates looked directly at one another and continued their conversation via their high tech devices.

"Evelyn, I have a gentleman here looking for a glare shield for his iPhone. Can you help him?" Again, Evelyn replied with a yes, followed by "Send him over to me."

Okay ... are you getting that Rich was listening to the two of them talking to one another in their normal tone of voice? They were so close he didn't even need a high tech device of his own. He’s standing there thinking how weird this whole thing is, wondering of he’s on MTV’s Punked, and he’s laughing to himself. Okay, maybe this is just the Apple way.

But it gets better.

The Greeter points Rich to Evelyn (as if he didn't already know who and where she was; she’s now standing about an arms length away from him). He reaches Evelyn in a nano second. She blinks at him, confused. He says, “I'm the guy looking for a glare shield for my iPhone." "Oh!”, she says, “It's you!" Come on, Rich is thinking. You just saw me a few feet away, talking with the Greeter. Of course it's me. Evelyn escorts him to the iPhone accessories wall and quickly points out the item he needs.

Perfect! But just like every other shopper, Rich doesn’t have a lot of time. He whips out his credit card and offers it to Evelyn, who says, "Oh no, not me; you’ll have to find one of the people with a black holster on their belt to pay. I’m just the concierge." Rich thinks, “What? I will have to FIND someone? Why do I have to find someone? Why can’t they find me?” Or better yet, where’s the cashier?

Rich looks around the busy store. He sees a few of the holster-toting “Apple Geniuses” running around. (Yep, that’s really what they’re called.) All the Geniuses are busy with customers who have made appointments to see them. Rich stops one and says, “Can you please ring this up for me? I’m kind of in a hurry." The Genius says, "Sorry, I’m busy with a customer right now. Please wait until one of us is available. It will probably be five to ten," and walks away.

No, he won’t wait “five to ten”; he can't wait “five to ten”, so Rich put the glare shield down and walked out of the store.

Here’s the thing: we can understand that the Apple Geniuses are busy with more important things than ringing up a glare shield, but really, isn’t Apple smart enough to figure out how to accommodate customers who need to make a quick purchase and don't need a Genius to tell them how it works?

Isn't that what customer service sensitivity is all about? Why can’t the Apple concierges be trained to ring up a sale? When faced with a customer request, concierges in the finest hotels respond with, “It would be my pleasure." Not, “You’ll have to find one of the people with a black holster on their belt to pay.”

Look, we don't care who you are or what you do, don't ever forget this very important service rule: When it comes to customer service, it is the customer's definition that counts, not yours.

It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out.